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Bobby Murdoch Phoenix CSC : Tosser of the Week

tosser, noun
1. a slang reference to a masturbator. (See Dougal, Stuart)
2. an idiot or moron. (Dougal sent Thompson off. What a tosser!)
Animated Bhoy taking piss Callum Murray, corrupt referee, accepts thanks for a job well done
  Callum Murray
Corrupt Referee

When Who Where What
2011-04-15 Euan Norris Hampden Masonic Lodge There is not a game Hearts' cocaine-snorting Ian Black plays where he should not be sent off, and the cup semifinal at the Masonic Lodge was no exception. Two feet over the ball, getting none of the ball, only a caution. (Compare to three weeks ago, where Wanyama was sent off, for getting nothing but ball, by lodge brother Murray.) Then the Edinburgh Huns were given a penalty -- in best Hun fashion, in the 91st minute of a 1:1 match -- for the ball striking Ledley in the back of his arm. And when -- who else? -- cocaine-snorting Ian Black likewise "handled"? Nothing. Of course.
2011-03-24 Callum Murray Govan Tesco Callum Murray, corrupt referee, sent off Cha for what was not even a foul when -- yes, you guessed it -- a Hun dove. He sent off Wanyama for "two-footed tackle" that was nothing but ball. He sent off the manager, apparently for telling the truth, that Callum Murray is corrupt. The fix was in: "They" did not want Celtic to win the league at the Govan Tesco, to prevent the Orcs from doing a "Manchester" on Glasgow. The last gasp of a dying empire.
2011-05-17 Walter Smith Ipox Rather than be grateful for all the honest refereeing, and completely neutral SFA decisions, that resulted in the Huns squeeking the league by a solitary point, the retiring Master Mason blamed the victims—Celtic—for this season's troubles.
2011-05-16 Ian Black Edinburgh Psychotic thug who would be off in every match he plays, if he wasn't the referee's lodge brother, busted for cocaine possession.
2011-05-11 John Clark Wilson Swinecastle Jamfart jumped the railing, dodged the conveniently non-vigilant stewards, then assaulted Neil Lennon.
2011-04-19 El Hadji Diouf Ipox El Hadji Diouf, Dignity FC serial spitter, said "Gaddafi is a man who I have always admired. I am telling the truth. I know him, and I know his son Saif as well. They are my friends." El Hacka Loogie would be an embarassment to himself, or Rangers, if either had any shame.
2011-01-11 Willie Collum New Douglas Park Blind Willie Collum has gone from mere blindness, or shear incompetence, straight into the back pocket of George Peat: Goal given on obvious offside, gave Forrest red he would have given the Huns a yellow (or "stern talking to"), booked McGinn for diving in the area when he was tripped (compare to his call in favor of Broadfoot two months ago), etc, etc.
2010-11-10 Craig Thomson Swinecastle SFA stooge Craig Thomson buggers Celtic every chance he gets. Literally every game. Not done fookin' Ledley two weeks ago, this time stooge Thomson sent him off, booked five other Celts, denied a stonewall penalty, and sent off Lennon.
2010-10-31 Dougie McDonald SFA Dougie McDonald lied on his referee report, encouraged his assistant Steven Craven to lie, then tried to cover up his lies, yet insists he is still fit to referee matches in Scotland. Indeed he is.
2010-10-27 Craig Thomson McDiarmid Park The third "honest mistake" in 10 days, Celtic would have been up 4:0 but for Ledley being flagged offside despite being three yards onside.
2010-10-24 Willie Collum Celtic Park On a Broadfoot dive, Blind Willie Collum called a penalty he literally could have seen only with eyes in the back of his head (as his back was to the incident). Naturally, *he* did not get "advice" from his 40-yards distant assistant.
2010-10-17 Dougie McDonald & Steven Craven Tannadice McDonald, five yards away with a direct view called a penalty against Dundee United that he allowed to be overruled by Rangers-supporting assistant Craven who was 40 yards away with a blocked "view".
2009-11-08 Celtic "Supporters" Falkirk Regardless of politics, or your personal beliefs, brave men and women, friend or foe, should always be respected. Not observing the minute of silence was inexcusable.
2009-10-04 Craig Thomson Ipox Referee Craig Thomson, admits he -- oops! -- just coincidentally failed to spot a penalty that even a blind man would have seen. (And it was not the only one.)
2009-05-17 Kyle Lafferty Ipox Kyle Lafferty, Rangers cheat, for faking a head butt at Ipox. Lodge brother Referee Dougal was "fooled" into giving Aberdeen a red card.
2008-08-31 Kenny Miller Celtic Park Kenny Miller at Celtic could not score in a whore house with £100 notes glued to his body, but his career at Rangers was a different story.
2008-05-10 Mike McCurry Ipox Mike McCurry made some rather bizarre decisions in the Orcs favor, jobbing Dundee United out of a UEFA Cup spot, and costing Celtic £10 million.
2008-04-13 Glasgow Sunday Herald Gutter Glasgow Sunday Herald, gutter rag, which thinks religious slurs are funny: "some fans would probably rather have a bead-rattling Hoopy the Huddle Hound in the dug-out".
2007-11-06 Augustin Binya Celtic Park Augustin Binya, for attempting to sever the leg of Scott Brown.
2007-03-03 Steve Conroy
Celtic Park Steve Conroy, who lists his weakness as "unforgiving" (really!), is a doctor, a profession that was much in need after some of the horrendus Hunfermline challenges he let go with only a "stern talking to".
2007-02-27 Michel Platini UEFA UEFA excused Rangers supporters Nazi salutes in Israel, despite all evidence to the contrary, and despite those same Orcs repeated transgressions of fair play, violence and just plain decency. "Red hand" my red arse. As UEFA Gruppenfuhrer, Michel Platini bears responsbility for that decision.
2007-02-20 Alberto Gilardino Celtic Park Alberto Gilardino's outrageous dive earned him a caution. (And a 9.5 from the Russian judge.)
2007-02-14 Orcs Tel Aviv In Israel -- of all places! -- Rangers supporters had the gall to make Nazi salutes. We're surprised the IDF or Mossad did not put a boot in.
2007-01-28 Mad Vlad Romanov Heart of Mad-Lithuania "Players sold themselves for the striped shirts they were promised." Asked if he was referring to Celtic, "To prison uniforms." F**k off.
2006-11-26 Mike McCurry Easter Road Making his second appearance this year: A head butt is a red card, not a caution.
2006-11-13 Mad Vlad Romanov Heart of Mad-Lithuania Bodies up to his knees: Seven managers in 21 months. (Interim manager replaced by interim manager.) Eight-year captain out, etc.
2006-09-16 Mike McCurry & Assistants Celtic Park Hunfermline would have had to pull out machine guns and riddle the Hoops with bullets to draw a card.
2006-08-06 Julien Brellier Swinecastle Hearts ballerina dove and hacked with equal abandon. (Plus he bears a disturbing resemblance to that banjo kid from "Deliverance".)
2006-07-24 Army Medical Directorate Surrey Still trying to outlaw the bagpipe after 260 years.
2006-04-30 Rudi Skacel Swinecastle Serial spitter should shoot the ball as accurately as he hacks loogies.
2006-03-22 Vladimir Romanov Hearts boardroom Fired Graham Rix after only five months. The convicted sex offender was the only man desperate enough to accept the poisoned chalice. Who next, Peter Sutcliffe?
2006-03-07 Orcs Villareal Rangers supporters attacked the Villareal team bus prior to being humped out of Europe. Dignity, indeed.
2006-02-25 Real Zaragoza Supporters Estadio La Romareda Real Zaragoza supporters made monkey chants at Samuel Eto'o ... two years in a row. The club did nothing. UEFA did nothing. (Unless you count a few hundred euro fine.) FIFA did nothing.
2006-02-12 Sotirios Kyrgiakos Mount Doom The only thing worse than hack, is a diver. The only thing worse than a diver is a diving hack. The Orc drama queen is both, and one ugly f**ker too.
2006-01-28 Mike Ritchie Paradise Lost Denied two stonewall penalties and missed an obvious offside.
2005-12-17 Paolo di Canio Roma, Livorno, Roma Thrice guilty fascist / former Hoop disgraced the colors
2005-11-19 Steven Thompson Celtic Park Bereft of talent, invention or spirit? Foul often; foul hard.
2005-10-26 Vladimir Romanov Hearts boardroom Meddling director stuck knife in George Burley's unbeaten back, then hired Graham Rix, because no one else would have it.
2005-09-18 Ivan Sproule Easter Road Kick, elbow, head butt. Sproule got a caution. Thompson would have been drawn & quartered.
2005-08-20 Stuart Dougal Ibrox, of course Sent Thompson off for what only deserved a caution

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