Phoenix CSC : Tosser of the Week

Rosie McCaffrey's Irish Pub: 2002-2022 (RIP)

Bobby Murdoch Phoenix CSC : Tosser of the Week

tosser, noun
1. a slang reference to a masturbator. (See Dougal, Stuart)
2. an idiot or moron. (Dougal sent Thompson off. What a tosser!)


	Callum Murray Corrupt Referee

When	Who	Where	What
2011-04-15	Euan Norris	~~Hampden~~ Masonic Lodge	There is not a game Hearts' cocaine-snorting Ian Black plays where he should not be sent off, and the cup semifinal at the Masonic Lodge was no exception. Two feet over the ball, getting none of the ball, only a caution. (Compare to three weeks ago, where Wanyama was sent off, for getting nothing but ball, by lodge brother Murray.) Then the Edinburgh Huns were given a penalty -- in best Hun fashion, in the 91st minute of a 1:1 match -- for the ball striking Ledley in the back of his arm. And when -- who else? -- cocaine-snorting Ian Black likewise "handled"? Nothing. Of course.
2011-03-24	Callum Murray	Govan Tesco	Callum Murray, corrupt referee, sent off Cha for what was not even a foul when -- yes, you guessed it -- a Hun dove. He sent off Wanyama for "two-footed tackle" that was nothing but ball. He sent off the manager, apparently for telling the truth, that Callum Murray is corrupt. The fix was in: "They" did not want Celtic to win the league at the Govan Tesco, to prevent the Orcs from doing a "Manchester" on Glasgow. The last gasp of a dying empire.
2011-05-17	Walter Smith	Ipox	Rather than be grateful for all the honest refereeing, and completely neutral SFA decisions, that resulted in the Huns squeeking the league by a solitary point, the retiring Master Mason blamed the victims—Celtic—for this season's troubles.
2011-05-16	Ian Black	Edinburgh	Psychotic thug who would be off in every match he plays, if he wasn't the referee's lodge brother, busted for cocaine possession.
2011-05-11	John Clark Wilson	Swinecastle	Jamfart jumped the railing, dodged the conveniently non-vigilant stewards, then assaulted Neil Lennon.
2011-04-19	El Hadji Diouf	Ipox	El Hadji Diouf, Dignity FC serial spitter, said "Gaddafi is a man who I have always admired. I am telling the truth. I know him, and I know his son Saif as well. They are my friends." El Hacka Loogie would be an embarassment to himself, or Rangers, if either had any shame.
2011-01-11	Willie Collum	New Douglas Park	Blind Willie Collum has gone from mere blindness, or shear incompetence, straight into the back pocket of George Peat: Goal given on obvious offside, gave Forrest red he would have given the Huns a yellow (or "stern talking to"), booked McGinn for diving in the area when he was tripped (compare to his call in favor of Broadfoot two months ago), etc, etc.
2010-11-10	Craig Thomson	Swinecastle	SFA stooge Craig Thomson buggers Celtic every chance he gets. Literally every game. Not done fookin' Ledley two weeks ago, this time stooge Thomson sent him off, booked five other Celts, denied a stonewall penalty, and sent off Lennon.
2010-10-31	Dougie McDonald	SFA	Dougie McDonald lied on his referee report, encouraged his assistant Steven Craven to lie, then tried to cover up his lies, yet insists he is still fit to referee matches in Scotland. Indeed he is.
2010-10-27	Craig Thomson	McDiarmid Park	The third "honest mistake" in 10 days, Celtic would have been up 4:0 but for Ledley being flagged offside despite being three yards onside.
2010-10-24	Willie Collum	Celtic Park	On a Broadfoot dive, Blind Willie Collum called a penalty he literally could have seen only with eyes in the back of his head (as his back was to the incident). Naturally, he did not get "advice" from his 40-yards distant assistant.
2010-10-17	Dougie McDonald & Steven Craven	Tannadice	McDonald, five yards away with a direct view called a penalty against Dundee United that he allowed to be overruled by Rangers-supporting assistant Craven who was 40 yards away with a blocked "view".
2009-11-08	Celtic "Supporters"	Falkirk	Regardless of politics, or your personal beliefs, brave men and women, friend or foe, should always be respected. Not observing the minute of silence was inexcusable.
2009-10-04	Craig Thomson	Ipox	Referee Craig Thomson, admits he -- oops! -- just coincidentally failed to spot a penalty that even a blind man would have seen. (And it was not the only one.)
2009-05-17	Kyle Lafferty	Ipox	Kyle Lafferty, Rangers cheat, for faking a head butt at Ipox. ~~Lodge brother~~ Referee Dougal was "fooled" into giving Aberdeen a red card.
2008-08-31	Kenny Miller	Celtic Park	Kenny Miller at Celtic could not score in a whore house with £100 notes glued to his body, but his career at Rangers was a different story.
2008-05-10	Mike McCurry	Ipox	Mike McCurry made some rather bizarre decisions in the Orcs favor, jobbing Dundee United out of a UEFA Cup spot, and costing Celtic £10 million.
2008-04-13	Glasgow Sunday Herald	Gutter	Glasgow Sunday Herald, gutter rag, which thinks religious slurs are funny: "some fans would probably rather have a bead-rattling Hoopy the Huddle Hound in the dug-out".
2007-11-06	Augustin Binya	Celtic Park	Augustin Binya, for attempting to sever the leg of Scott Brown.
2007-03-03	Steve Conroy "Referee"	Celtic Park	Steve Conroy, who lists his weakness as "unforgiving" (really!), is a doctor, a profession that was much in need after some of the horrendus Hunfermline challenges he let go with only a "stern talking to".
2007-02-27	Michel Platini	UEFA	UEFA excused Rangers supporters Nazi salutes in Israel, despite all evidence to the contrary, and despite those same Orcs repeated transgressions of fair play, violence and just plain decency. "Red hand" my red arse. As UEFA Gruppenfuhrer, Michel Platini bears responsbility for that decision.
2007-02-20	Alberto Gilardino	Celtic Park	Alberto Gilardino's outrageous dive earned him a caution. (And a 9.5 from the Russian judge.)
2007-02-14	Orcs	Tel Aviv	In Israel -- of all places! -- Rangers supporters had the gall to make Nazi salutes. We're surprised the IDF or Mossad did not put a boot in.
2007-01-28	Mad Vlad Romanov	Heart of Mad-Lithuania	"Players sold themselves for the striped shirts they were promised." Asked if he was referring to Celtic, "To prison uniforms." F**k off.
2006-11-26	Mike McCurry	Easter Road	Making his second appearance this year: A head butt is a red card, not a caution.
2006-11-13	Mad Vlad Romanov	Heart of Mad-Lithuania	Bodies up to his knees: Seven managers in 21 months. (Interim manager replaced by interim manager.) Eight-year captain out, etc.
2006-09-16	Mike McCurry & Assistants	Celtic Park	Hunfermline would have had to pull out machine guns and riddle the Hoops with bullets to draw a card.
2006-08-06	Julien Brellier	Swinecastle	Hearts ballerina dove and hacked with equal abandon. (Plus he bears a disturbing resemblance to that banjo kid from "Deliverance".)
2006-07-24	Army Medical Directorate	Surrey	Still trying to outlaw the bagpipe after 260 years.
2006-04-30	Rudi Skacel	Swinecastle	Serial spitter should shoot the ball as accurately as he hacks loogies.
2006-03-22	Vladimir Romanov	Hearts boardroom	Fired Graham Rix after only five months. The convicted sex offender was the only man desperate enough to accept the poisoned chalice. Who next, Peter Sutcliffe?
2006-03-07	Orcs	Villareal	Rangers supporters attacked the Villareal team bus prior to being humped out of Europe. Dignity, indeed.
2006-02-25	Real Zaragoza Supporters	Estadio La Romareda	Real Zaragoza supporters made monkey chants at Samuel Eto'o ... two years in a row. The club did nothing. UEFA did nothing. (Unless you count a few hundred euro fine.) FIFA did nothing.
2006-02-12	Sotirios Kyrgiakos	Mount Doom	The only thing worse than hack, is a diver. The only thing worse than a diver is a diving hack. The Orc drama queen is both, and one ugly f**ker too.
2006-01-28	Mike Ritchie	Paradise Lost	Denied two stonewall penalties and missed an obvious offside.
2005-12-17	Paolo di Canio	Roma, Livorno, Roma	Thrice guilty fascist / former Hoop disgraced the colors
2005-11-19	Steven Thompson	Celtic Park	Bereft of talent, invention or spirit? Foul often; foul hard.
2005-10-26	Vladimir Romanov	Hearts boardroom	Meddling director stuck knife in George Burley's unbeaten back, then hired Graham Rix, because no one else would have it.
2005-09-18	Ivan Sproule	Easter Road	Kick, elbow, head butt. Sproule got a caution. Thompson would have been drawn & quartered.
2005-08-20	Stuart Dougal	Ibrox, of course	Sent Thompson off for what only deserved a caution