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Bobby Murdoch Phoenix CSC : Celtic News & Humor (2006-07)

green fireworks
Scottish Cup champions for 34th time!

Wee partick thistle fan goes NUTS

Oh Lord, this is hilarious ... (2007-04-13)

Celtic Bookings: Paranoia?

I have been thinking for awhile now that it sure seems like the Bhoys get an awful lots of cards in the final minutes of matches, particularly in Scotland. So, I counted them up, all 78 of them:

     Min.    Cards     Scale
    unknown      1     .
     1-10        1     .
    11-20        2     ..
    21-30        4     ....
    31-40       12     ............
    41-50       10     ..........
    51-60        9     .........
    61-70       11     ...........
    71-80        5     .....
    81-90+      23     .....................
    Total       78

29% of all bookings came in only 11% of the match, the final 10 minutes, or 2.7 times the expected rate. 18 of those bookings were in the final three minutes, including a whopping 10 bookings in the 90th minute or later! (2007-05-28)

Nakamura free kick seals back-to-back SPL titles
Nakamura free kick seals back-to-back SPL titles

Hearts Analysis

I wrote this a few years ago, about another team, in another league. Just happened across it today (2007-03-28), and thought it amazingly apropos.

Mad Vlad Romanov makes monkeys out of Heart of Midlothian
"Today I will express my opinion in English about refereeing in order that your Mowgli will not make you tell lies ... I beg you Mowgli, take the monkeys back to the safari park."
(more bananas)
What is it about pro sports owners that makes them think they are qualified to do anything other than make another obscene pile of money? Just because you own the team doesn't mean you know anything about it, or the sport. Footballers are always trying to make the leap from faking dives to faking love scenes -- or marrying grade Z entertainers with equally poor thespian skills -- and sports owners are insistent about making the leap from ordering Fred in accounting from one god-forsaken malarial foreign office to another, to ordering forwards from god-forsaken malarial countries from one soot-encrusted megalopolis to another.

If it was only the case of egomaniacal billionaires and their coattail riding offspring swapping slaves with their cigar-puffing cronies, that would be one thing. Let the dilletantes play soccer Monopoly. When their idiocy shines through, and their team befouls the league, its debt-laden corpse will be relegated. Relegation is the football equivalent of metameucil -- its gets the crap out of your system ... (1999-08-21)

John Burns (1933-2007)

"Our good friend and great Celtic Man John Burns passed away ... We will all remember John for his quick wit and his ability to come up with a joke at the most appropriate moment during a game. Please take a moment during the day to remember John in your thoughts and prayers." Tom Carberry, Phoenix CSC President (2007-03-02)

Brothers Across The Ocean CSC

Free Deek: Get Riordan out of jail. Start him at forward!
Free Deek: Get Riordan out of jail. Start him at forward!

Preston visiting the bhoys at Brothers Across The Ocean CSC in San Francisco. Thanx for your great hospitality against Hibs! (2007-02-10)

Quote of the Week III

"Puyol must certainly be giving Crouch a few inches there. Must be at least seven or eight!" (Mark Lawrenson, England v. Spain)

Footie-mad tattooist inscribes penis on rival fan's back

A young Argentinian footie fan who decided to celebrate his love for Boca Juniors by having the team's logo tattooed on his back paid the price for not adequately researching the body artist's own allegiances.

The tattooist was, unknown to the unnamed teen, a follower of rival club River Plate, and accordingly substituted a penis for the Boca Juniors' crest.

The victim - who is now suing the tatooist - lamented: "I could not see what he was tattooing because he didn't have a mirror. I only saw it when I got home and showed it to my parents." (The Register: 2007-01-23)

Paul Hartley signs for Celtic
But we have to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. (Luke 15:32)

Quote of the Week II

Elvis is in The House: Steven Pressley signs for Celtic
Elvis is in The House: Steven Pressley signs for Celtic

1628: GOAL Chelsea 3-0 Wigan ... That will go down as an own goal from Wigan keeper Chris Kirkland, but again it was good work from Arjen Robben who cut in from the left and rifled a low shit which the Latics number one elbowed into his own net. (From Guardian match update: 2007-01-13)

Quote of the Week I

"I hope all the Rangers fans who gave out about Aidan McGeady choosing Ireland over Scotland now understand what real treachery is. It's not choosing your roots over the country you happen to be born it, it's leaving your country in the lurch for 30 pieces of silver" - Peter Collins, Guardian, on Walter Smith jilting Scotland, mid-Euro qualifying. (2007-01-09)

Champions League

Celtic 1-0 Prawn Sandwich Eaters

Celtic defeated the prawn sandwich eaters of Manchester United 1-0 due to a brilliant 35 yard Nakamura free kick, and brilliant penalty save by man of the match Artur Boruc. Disregarding the wee matter of the European Cup back in '67, the win puts the Bhoys through to the knockout stages of the Champions League for the first time, with a match to spare. (2006-11-21)

The Word of Gord

"People talk about how you make team spirit - is it golf days or going out drinking together? That doesn't count. When you drink, you just tell lies to each other anyway and talk rubbish." (Gordon Strachan)

Jose Mourinho knows something you don't ...
Jose Mourinho knows something you don't ...

Orc Sighting

Bozo Criminal of the Day for August 16 comes from the International File in Glasgow, Scotland where bozo Derek Brown threatened workers at a bank with what turned out to be a can of deodorant in a bag while asking for cash. When the teller refused to give it to him, our bozo laid his head down on the counter and promptly fell asleep. Police were called, our bozo was awakened and taken to jail.

Lee Martin, Circus Freak Lee Martin
Circus Freak
Separated at Birth?
Zip the Pinhead, New Hun Signing Zip the Pinhead
New Hun Signing
David Murray contemplates another year in Mordor

David Murray contemplates
another year in Mordor

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